Monday, February 28, 2011

Trying to find my groove!

And groove I shall find. For me, getting myself to work out is such a mental game. I know I can do it physically, it is just about getting there and TO DO it. I would like to say that I am not a lazy person, but in the winter it is just not the case. The thought of going outside and being cold is such a deterrent for me. I would much rather be warm and snuggly inside my house! (But, I am guessing I am not the only one like this? Right?)


Yesterday was spent being lazy. Since returning from a week in Sunny Mexico, I have found myself in a bit of a post-vacation blues mindset, and that has gots-to-go! 
Although I didn't make it to the gym, I did work out! I DID NOT want to leave my warm home and go to the gym, but I knew if I worked out I was going to feel better. So I flicked on the TV and perused exercise TV and too see what they had to offer. Lo and Behold good ol' Jillian Michaels popped up on my screen...

Oh Jillian and your bad choice of sports bras -- I hate to love you. I have done the majority of her workout videos before, and I actually don't mind them at all. Sometimes her "words of encouragement" can be a bit questionable, but eh to each their own. So, I popped on Level 1 of the 30 day shred and got down to business. Once I completed the shred, I turned on another workout DVD (a whole body circuit training type one) but I only made it about 15 minutes through that one because the instructor had the voice, and peppiness of an annoying cheerleader and I just couldn't bear it ANY LONGER.

Fast forward to today... I literally dragged ass to my complex gym where I spent about 40 minutes sweating it out on the elliptical. I mutli-tasked by working out and catching up on my trashy mag US Weekly; so all in all I will give myself a B grade for the day. 
I do think that when (if) the weather gets nicer, it really will be so much easier for me to get motivated to work out more. While walking with the Sig Other to the gym tonight, I said "isn't Spring in like 25 days?" His reply? "Honey, I think it is a little further away than that!" Well, boooo to that! 

source: Google Images

Oh Spring, Please hurry up! 


Sunday, February 27, 2011

"Getting back into the gym"

Oh, I am motivated all right... Motivated to do a whole bunch of nothin'. Some call it the "winter blues" others "SAD" (seasonal affective disorder) - I call it "winters in New England take a toll on me" every single year. This year is no different. In fact, I feel like it is a little bit worse because Boston has been hit with a lot of snow this winter (over 60 inches so far). I feel like every time I turn around; I am staring at this:

And I despise the snow. Hate it. Wouldn't mind if I never saw another teeny-tiny little snowflake again in my life. Sadly, this is just not the case --- yet. 
I am not sure if it is the depressing gray that is a constant during winter, or the below freezing temperatures, or even the shortened daylight that really gets to me; but for some reason every winter (especially around end of January, beginning of February) I lose all motivation to do anything - especially keeping up with my health and fitness habits. And this really bugs me. I feel like everything is such a struggle during this time, and my want/need to get to the gym goes to the wayside. 
Well, I am tired of being tired. I am tired of not feeling my best (like when I do when I work out regularly). I am tired of being and feeling lazy. The cycle must stop!

So, I am pulling out the 'big guns' and using every trick I know to get myself motivated again:
1. Switching up my work out routine: I usually do the same thing when I work out. Elliptical and free weights. By incorporating variety (such as workout DVDs) I am hoping to 'spice up my gym life'.
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2. Music: I don't know about you, but music is a big factor in the quality of a sweat sesh for me. Lately, I have had little luck finding good music to really get me psyched up and ready to go. My gym playlist is over-played, and actually kind of lame. Finding new workout music will give me the extra push I need to workout harder.
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3. New gear: I have been putting off getting new sneakers for a while now. Currently, I wear my Nike Shox and honestly am not a fan (although I do think it has something to do with the Nike insert that they put in them) I have gone twice now, and have left both times sneaker-less. I just have not found that sneaker - yet. Mission "get new sneakers" will be completed; oh yes it will.
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4. New Goals: Since I am maintaining my weight loss, the ol' "lose weight" goal just isn't cutting it anymore. Honestly, what I really want to is tone up and Become stronger. I am going incorporate new (to me) strength training exercises and get my Jillian Michaels on.
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I feel better all ready. 

- A

Thursday, February 24, 2011

The poem that puts all the feelings into words...

Wasted Time...
Author: ______
The Time that I've wasted is my biggest regret, Spent in these places I will never forget. Just sitting and thinking about the things that I've done the crying, the laughing, the hurt, the fun.

Now it's just me and my hard driven guilt behind a wall of emptiness I allowed to be built. I'm trapped in my body, just wanting to run; back to my youth - with it's laughter and fun .

But the chase is over and there's no place to hide. Everything is gone, including my pride. With reality suddenly right in my face, I'm scared, alone and stuck in this place.

Now memories of my past flash through my head,  And the pain is obvious by the tears that I shed. "I ask myself " Why and where I went wrong? I guess I was weak when I should have been strong.

Living for the drugs and the wings I had grown, My feelings were lost, afraid to be shown. As I look at my past it's so easy to see - the fear that I had, afraid to be me.

It's time that I change and get on with my life - what my future holds I really don't know but the years that I've wasted are starting to show.

I just live for the day when I'll get a new start and the dreams I still hold deep within my heart. I hope I can make it, I at least have to try- Because I'm heading toward Death  - And I don't want to die..