Monday, January 24, 2011

Where it all started: Mexico, Part Uno.

I am one lucky gal. In the last three years, I have had the opportunity to visit Mexico (Cancun, to be exact) not once... but six times, the last time being this past week!
We have also traveled to Florida multiple times, Aruba, and Las Vegas (but those trips are for another post, another time :)
But back to my first trip to Mexico... (where I got bit by the "travel bug")
I think what did it was this...

Yup, pretty sure that crystal clear aqua blue ocean is what did it... Oh and of course, these too...

Fruity cocktails that were served in carved local fruit. (The fruit & vegetables in Mexico taste AMAZING! So different from supermarket produce that I get here.) 

But putting the amazing views, perfect weather, and fruity drinks served a la fruit was the locals. And those that actually lived in this paradise. Those that worked here. I think I was amazed at how. hard. they. work. and for mere dollars a DAY. Not hourly, daily wage: $4.21. Four dollars and twenty one cents per day to literally shovel shit and smile. (Tourists are not the easiest people to please) I think being around the locals made me take a hard look at my life. I was given a reality check:

My reality check was this: Be grateful. Be grateful for everything I have, and not pine over what I do not have. Be thankful that I am surrounded by loved ones, and that each new day brings new opportunities. Smile and keep pushing forward. Just because; it could always be worse...

- Aimee

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Battle of the bulge...

Diets, nutrition, exercise, etc have a place in my heart. (note: I did not say special place) I was ALWAYS the fat girl growing up. Always. I was always the girl who got the "oh but you have such a pretty face" compliment. I was always the girl that got the "FAT" insult when having an argument with one of my girlfriends... And it hurt. Like, A LOT. I wish I could put into words what that three letter word does (did?) to me; but I can't. Although my friends growing up would always try and counteract my "baby fat" with the fact that I had a very large chest (talkin' like 38DD -- and I would still be falling out of my bras); it almost made it worse. I not only was the fat girl, but I had these HUGE boobs that were awful on my back (what's up scoliosis) and got the wrong kind of attention. Attention I DID NOT WANT. Especially at that time in my life...

Unfortunately, one day I kind of just lost it. I was nearing almost 200 pounds and on my 5'4 frame and my doctor told me that I needed to lose weight. That day I told myself that I was not going to be the fat girl ANYMORE

Now of course, I would love to sit here and say that I lost all of my weight the "right" way... but I didn't. I tried every diet out there. Atkins, Weight Watchers, Special K, restriction ... you name it, I probably tried it. (more on this later...)

Then, I got the most boring job in the world and was introduced to the FOOD BLOG NATION as I call it. Daily, I would read Kath Jenna, Mama Pea , Meghann, CaitlinThe fitnessista! and Tina and each day I would learn more and more. Although I had an interest in health and nutrition prior to these ladies' blogs (I always considered nursing, but honestly, I just do not think I could handle it) my passion for the field has grown more and more each day. 

Fast forward approx. 2 years --- That most boring job in the world finally got the best of me.  It was literally making me sick, and I was more and more miserable each day I had to sit at that desk with no work to do, and just sit there ... and sit there. For seven hours. No work to be done (Most people would love to get paid to be bored and Google and Facebook all day; but not me. I like being busy, and I like the time to fly by!!!) I just couldn't. It was mentally and emotionally killing me. So, I talked it over with my significant other (we are going to call him TFK, for his work and privacy purposes) and he was so relieved. He saw me deteriorate more and more each day, and was all for me leaving work and finishing my degree. 
(Have I mentioned that I have the most supportive, caring, and loving man in the world? Don't worry, a whole post about our "crazy" life is coming soon...)

Currently, my major is Psychology, my other passion. After the two classes that I will finally get to finish come this September, I will have an associates and transfer to a four year school where I will have to actually make some decisions.. stay with psychology? Start over and become an R.D.? Join the circus? Regardless of what I choose to do, I need to follow my heart. And I guess that's really what matters ... right?

Friday, January 21, 2011

Wanting to scream...

That fateful Halloween changed everything. And I mean everything. I went from a normal, happy teenager to a confused, violated angry person.. But the beat went on. And on it did. I went to school, and I believe I made it to about fourth period before I broke down and told someone what had happened to me. Her name was Holly, and she was what my HS called an adjustment counselor. I will give you a little background information on Holly and I....

Holly was not assigned to me in school. Holly worked with students who need "iep's" or "individual educational plans" as well as kids who had what some would call "behavior" problems. I don't really know how I feel into Holly's hands in school but I did. I used her and her office as a hiding place, most likely for all the wrong the reasons (like to get out of class) but also used Holly to talk. Yep, just talk. Holly was the first adult that I had come in contact with throughout my life that I actually felt like I could talk to. And the first adult that actually listened. She actually cared; (whether it be her job or not) and at that point in my life, that was a big deal for me. I cherished my "talking" time with Holly, and eventually was able to see her once a week in lieu of a class.


After "what happened", I remember just aimlessly walking around the halls in school. Not going anywhere in particular, and definitely not going to class. Just walking around. I remember feeling so lost, confused, angry, sad, mad ... almost every emotion one could think of. Down one hallway, I ran into Holly. Maybe she knew something was off, maybe not, either way she told me to head to her office. So I did. It didn't take long for it to just come blurting out.

As I think back, I don't think Holly knew what to do. What to say. Lord knows, I didn't. All I knew is that I wanted to go home. I left Holly's office and went home. It wasn't a half hour later that Holly called me at home and told me to come back to school...

So I did.

I ended up back at school. At this point, it is a tad blurry. It was like living a dream nightmare. I hadn't even thought of going to the doctor's... My mind was just so blurry. I thank God everyday that Holly did. She drove me to the nearest doctor, and I was given tests as well as the "Plan B" pill to prevent pregnancy. Regardless of your thoughts on the abortion matter, I also thank God everyday for that pill too. It is clear that Holly had went above and beyond her responsibilities, and thankfully so. I was in a pretty bad place went I had gotten back home that day from school. My mind, emotions, everything was just so messed up, and I doubt Holly realizes just exactly what she did that day... It wasn't the fact that consoled me, the fact that she researched and spoke to the appropriate people on what to do, nor the fact that she drove me to the doctors and sat with me ... that day when Holly called me back to school ... I am pretty sure she saved me from myself.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Skeletons in the closet...

Do you have any? I know I do. Life started out so "normal" for me. I did well in school, was a competitive swimmer for about 10 years of life and a cheerleader in middle school. In high school, I continued to swim, Cheer, and also picked up Softball and track and field. High school hit, and all hell broke loose.

The setting: It is my first Halloween Party as a high school student. I thought I was "super cool" because I was going to an adult party (IE: 20 -30 something year old) I remember it like it was yesterday.. I dressed up like a ladybug, ladybug dots on my back and all. I remember having a beer, no big deal, I had tried beer before. Then another. Then another. Four beers later I was pretty messed up. This is where things get blurry..... and this is where I skip a few parts for the sake of the blog world ... The next morning... I knew what had happened. I was so confused. "Was it my fault? Did I somehow "ask for it"? I had so many thoughts and emotions, I just wanted to scream....

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Are you lost? Well, now you are found! Welcome!

Well, the blog world gets one more...

This blog is going to a smorgasbord, of sorts, with posts about all different types of things. I love heath and nutrition and am a loyal reader of the many "healthy blogs" out there. I find the blog world inspirational, and recently my life has taken so many different twists and turns, that I decided to jot it all down.

A little more info on the girl behind the curtain...
I live with my boyfriend and his daughter in Boston, MA. Seems semi-normal right? Well, he is 16 years my senior and has two teenagers (one that lives with us) He is not only my lover, my best friend, but literally the man of my dreams. He has made me the happiest I have ever been, and to us -- age simply is just a number in our world.

My life has a lot to do with balance. This blog will be about my past, present, and future -- with a little of this and a little of that thrown in for good measure.

Thankfully, I have the opportunity to finally go back to school and finish my degree! (I got such a late start, that I only have about an Associates Degree in Psych.
Problem is: I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I WANT TO BE WHEN I GROW UP. Problem # 2: I am grown up.

I guess starting the from the beginning would make sense, but sometimes making sense is over-rated -- so I will break it up -- past, present future, here, there, and everywhere.

Try to follow along now... things could get messy!!!

Till next time....